Hello world! One time, not too long ago, I was faced with the decision of where to complete an internship. I was completing a PhD in clinical psychology I had been working on for four years. During this process, one searches through listings in a centralized service. Then they apply to the locations they are willing to work at for at least one year. I applied to locations locally that provided the training I was seeking and also many peppered throughout the country.
I don’t mean to skip all the fascinating details that fill the gap between all that. In the end I matched to a remote location situated in Northwest Alaska. Surprisingly, the change in climate was probably one of the least noticable contrasts from the entire experience. It is also important to mention that the interview process was the only time I ever really experienced Alaska.
In June, 2020, right in the middle of a global pandemic, I packed up, with some extra survival equipment, and moved all the way to the last frontier. I couldn’t simply drive to Nome and park my car in the driveway because there are no roads that lead to Nome. So I made sure to get some new kicks before packing my bags.
Once I was finally there, several things stood out immediately: there were no trees (there were a few trees that appeared imported to some yards in Nome), there is mud everywhere, and everything was outrageously expensive. Two day delivery was a dream, and ordered items would typically arrive within 30 days. As someone who was born and raised with nearly everything I use close enough to drive to retrieve, the wait for items was excruciating at times. I learned what truly is necessary for one to manage their day-to-day.
I quickly began by purchasing the consumable products I might exhaust over the next year (plastic bags, bath tissue, body wash, hand soap, and other daily items). Cell phone signal was poor and most cell phone plans from the lower 48, a term one tends to pick up, did not work in the remote region.
After settling into my new role as an intern, I was assigned a regional village that I was responsible for providing mental health treatment. My duties included traveling to Teller, AK monthly to hold regular clinic hours. This was one of the most rewarding experiences that I have ever experienced in my life. Traveling to sleep either in a bunk room with mattresses similar to the berthing on US Navy ships or on the floor in the behavioral health office when other providers were utilizing the bunk room.
I mentioned earlier that there are no roads that lead to Nome, but this is somewhat untrue. There are three roads that lead to other places, and only one road is inhabited year-around. One of these roads leads to the Village of Council, inhabited during the summer months, another leads out to various camps. The last road leads to the village of Teller. The long dirt roads are beautiful and often allow eagle sightings and other animals (e.g. musk ox, moose, or even bears).
The year was full of life lessons, friends, and stories. I will never be able to do them justice on a blog or with the photos that I have to share, but I will attempt to do this over the course of the next four months. I’d like to explain to you how my experience taught me how to enjoy each moment for what it is happening in that moment. I probably didn’t need such a drastic change to teach me these lessons, but we each take our own journey.
For me, the first lesson in mindfulness came in the form of peace. The work and environment all drew my attention to the present moment naturally. Quickly everything else became a noise that competed with my ability to present and mindful. The paradigm shifted for me. Because I needed to be present in every moment, my goal shifted to learning how to master this skill. Getting rid of all of my clothes, growing my hair out, and growing my beard out allowed me the opportunity to choose how I interacted with my environment, but it also showed me I had this ability all along.
Mindfulness: Quieting the Noise
The noise I am speaking about is the hustle and bustle that takes place in our own mind. It takes us away from experiencing the moment we exist in now. Have you ever heard the word Mindfulness? Mindfulness describes the experience of intentionally bringing one’s conscious awareness to the present moment without judgement. So, after years of academic study, research, and exploring my own experience, I am pleased to report that not only does this concept confuse me, it actually has caused me some stress and feelings of inadequacy.
Have you ever settled down with the intention to engage in some relaxing activity whether it be meditation, reading, or even going to sleep and you couldn’t focus on the task at hand? If you answered no, then you don’t need to take this journey with me. If, on the other hand, you have experienced this noise, I would love to bring you on my journey of my self-realization.
I am judgmental, irrational, and petty. These aren’t characteristics that I have ever used to define myself, but these are certainly criticisms that others have shared with me along my journey. They were right. They are right.
There are specific neurobiological reasons that have provided evolutionary benefits for our ability to be judgmental. I could probably make a decent argument as to why we can be petty. I will avoid the urge to justify these disconnecting behaviors any further. Nevertheless, these tendencies get in the way of someone seeking peace. Our judgement, while natural, leads us down all sorts of paths we never wanted to take in the first place. When we go down that path we miss the other ones.
These behaviors take us away from the moment, they naturally cause us to move our attention away from experiencing the moment. Either by moving our attention to a past or future orientation or shifting one from an observational frame to a judgmental frame.
So, when you’re judgmental, irrational, and petty, it isn’t very easy to clear your mind of these constant distractions. In fact, when you first begin you might go down the judgmental path, “Am I even doing this right?” Most people engage in a number of criticisms, either by questioning one’s own ability to do the exercise or questioning the value of the exercise altogether.
Before we explore several techniques that have helped others through this process, you have some homework:
- Carve out a piece of time to attempt to meditate, whether that is 1 minute all the way to 30 or more.
- Do that meditative practice.
- Write down a list of all the thoughts that you felt were preventing you from meditating.
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